How much of what you carry is actually required? Take The Struggle Quotient →
A movement. Not a program.

You have
permission
to be kind
to yourself.

You always did. Someone just forgot to tell you.

Be Kind to Yourself exists because most of us were never given this permission — and we've been surviving by turning on ourselves ever since. This is where that stops.

Let us send you a
Be Kind to Yourself Kit — free.

Receive Your Free Kit →
You've been calling it high standards.
But high standards don't leave you
this depleted at the end of the day.

Be kind to yourself — permission granted.

We were taught that
beating ourselves up
keeps us in line.

It doesn't. It just keeps us small, exhausted, and disconnected from the people and work we care most about.

Be Kind to Yourself is a collective interruption of that assumption. It starts with one permission — received, carried, and passed to someone who needs it next.

Relief doesn't come from outside you. It was always inside. You just needed permission to find it there.

The old assumption

Self-criticism is accountability.

If I go easy on myself, I'll lose my edge. The pressure keeps me performing.

What's actually true

Self-attack is not a discipline tool.

It's a drain on the very clarity and steadiness you need to do good work.

The shift

Kindness is not softness. It's precision.

You can hold yourself accountable and stay on your own side. That's where real performance lives.

The Ten Permissions

One of these is yours today.
Let it find you.

A permission you can
hold, wear, and give.

Every Anchor is a visible reminder — for yourself, and for everyone who sees it. When someone asks what it means, the conversation begins. That's the movement working.

Permission Card
Permission Card

Single Permission Card

One permission. Front and back. Carry it, gift it, leave it where it's needed.

From $8
Permission Set
Card Set

The Five Permissions

All five available permissions. One for you. Four to give away.

From $30
Hat
Wearable

Permission Hat

Wear the permission. Start the conversation. The movement moves.

From $45
Sticker
Sticker

Permission Sticker

On your water bottle, your laptop, your mirror. A small reminder in visible places.

From $5

Every purchase includes the Receive & Offer ritual card.

Visit the Full Shop

The movement has consequence all the way down.

Receive

An Anchor — a small physical object that gives you permission to be on your own side. Something to hold, wear, or keep close on the days you forget.

Share

Share an Anchor with someone who needs it. A colleague carrying too much. A friend running on empty. The act of giving it away is itself an act of kindness — toward them, and toward the idea that this kind of care should move.

Give Back

Every Anchor purchased contributes directly to NeurOptimal® neurofeedback sessions for first responders through our partnership with FRN — at no cost to them. Your act of self-kindness becomes an act of care for someone who has been holding everyone else and has never been held.

In partnership with the First Responders Network.

Mary Meduna-Gross, Ph.D.

I built this because
I needed it first.

I spent years learning to perform my way through exhaustion — producing, contributing, showing up for everyone — while quietly abandoning myself in every room I walked into.

Be Kind to Yourself is the permission I wish someone had handed me then — permission to be on my own side, even when I didn't know what that meant yet. It exists because that permission should move. Not stay with one person. Move.

When I started asking where someone in survival mode would begin — if they wanted to create relief from within rather than searching for it outside — the answer was simple. Be kind to yourself. You have permission.

Mary Meduna-Gross, Ph.D. Founder · Be Kind to Yourself & PlenaVita Shift